What It Means to Have Heart

 

In August, our DLS webinar focused on emotions in the workplace. Something struck when the speaker said, “set the tone for the energy you want them to match.” It all became clear. To better deal with emotional dialogue in the workplace, it starts with you.

Better communication is a sure way to improve your relationship with others, but why do relationships matter at work? Our ability to connect with others at work can impact the organization’s productivity, engagement, and sense of psychological safety.

Learning to communicate or deal with conflict the right way starts with you. How can you do this?

According to Crucial Conversations (McMillan, 2021), this is as simple as Start with Heart. What does that mean? When dealing with a conflict your ‘heart’ is your intent and motive. At times our motives are good, but we approach these situations with the mindset to defend ourselves, prove the other person is wrong, or make them change, which makes us lose.

1.)   Must stop believing people are the reason for all ails (McMillan, 2021). 

Having a fix them, nothing is wrong with me mentality prevents productive dialogue from happening because of the lack of self-awareness. Self is an important part of the process: “the only person we can continually inspire, prod, and shape – with any degree of success is the person in the mirror.”

2.)   Keep the focus on what you really want (McMillan, 2021). 

When dealing with an attack your heart can go into fight or flight mode and you will no longer have your goal or focus top of your mind. The moment the other person speaks their truth it will become more of defending your honor or getting your respect back. Don’t forget the motive and goal. It’s as simple as changing the motive from saving face to solving a problem.

3.)   Share your good intent (McMillan, 2021).

Ideally, once your heart is in the right place, make it clear to the other person you care about their interests in the matter. This will easily put the other person at ease, which will then help them to check their heart before the conversation starts.

Grab a copy of Crucial Conversations today to learn about the Start with Heart process.


McMillan, S. (2021). Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High 3rd edition. McGraw Hill.


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