Realities of being the “only one”

We asked our social media friends the following: Have you ever experienced representation burnout? The response? 50% selected yes, I am always asked: Why do [insert group/community] do that? And 50% selected no, I am part of diverse spaces where there are other colleagues/members of my group/community.

Organizations work hard to create diverse teams. Yes, having these different backgrounds and perspectives on a team makes it diverse. But what happens when you’re the only woman, only Black person, only LGBTQ person, or the only person with a disability? Do you turn to them anytime you want information or the perspective of the group/community they belong to?

You probably always turn to this person when it is time to make informed decisions. If you’ve found yourself constantly asking one person how a group or a community will think, react, or how something will impact them you’re probably aiding to that person’s feeling of representation burnout.

Representation burnout refers to “the feeling of exhaustion and isolation that comes from being the only person of a particular identity in an environment” as defined by Shine. Representation burnout doesn’t just come from a lack of people in a group but can take on different forms of burnout, such as expertise burnout.

Every organization has a person they can turn to for all things related to that topic. Let’s say it’s the tech-savvy colleague you can go to next to your office to help you troubleshoot technical issues.

Have you considered the extra burden that person feels in maintaining their tech-savvy status quo so they can show up when you need them? Or consider the pressure of being the only person with technical knowledge that everyone approaches when they’re having a technical difficulty.

We often assume that person is fine with being the team’s expert because they are just so good at it. But the stress of constantly being asked to speak to the experience of a group/community can pile on. Being the only one leaves that person constantly feeling the pressure to get it right, so they don’t disappoint the people inquiring them for knowledge.

Use the 3 L’s so you can avoid aiding to representation burnout.

1.       (L)ead with a growth mindset

Having a growth mindset means you learn from setbacks and become a lifelong learner. Challenge yourself to actively use lack of knowledge as a learning opportunity. Rather than relying on someone else for ideas or help, educate yourself first by acknowledging the challenge and push yourself to learn more about how to overcome it. 

2.       (L)earn to be vulnerable and embrace the awkward

Fear of being perceived as incompetent prevents us from having conversations. By avoiding questions and topics that lean into vulnerability we remain quiet and place the work on people we deem as experts from groups/communities of marginalized groups. Operating under the premise things will be easier coming from them because they belong to the group/community.

3.       (L)earn the warning signs

When employees are burned out, there are red flags you should be aware of to help you identify burnout employees. Being uninspired at work, poor performance, and extreme exhaustion if any of these things persist for longer than two weeks it may be time for a check-in. Set up a one-on-one meeting to identify the cause of burnout.

Being the only one can be tough, and everyone is not always willing to be the expert of a marginalized group/community. It is up to all of us as leaders and peers to avoid the trap of turning to the only one for guidance when dealing with their group/community.